


RuPaul's Rapping and Boxing Race

by orphan_account



Category: Keeping Up with the Kardashians RPF, RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - RuPaul's Drag Race Fusion, Boxing, Boxing Day, F/F, F/M, Multi, Rapping Competition, Vanjie is a TRAITOR, eh eh brooke in da house we off da molly now we eatin that good good canadian bacon, gon whack a homie if you disrespect, maple syrup and canadian bacon?, ok that's enough of that brooke if you readin this take notes, queen of da north ridin wit a tec, so apparently b is releasing a single, uh well i guess today is a boxing day, we be drinkin dat maple syrup straight out da bottle, what's she gonna rap about, wow this is gonna be a hit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 00:34:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30030312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Brooke and the gang go on RuPaul's Drag Race to compete to win the crown, $100,000, and become America's next rapping and boxing superstar!
Relationships: Brooke Lynn Hytes/Vanessa Vanjie Mateo, Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Kylie Jenner/Travis Scott, Trixie Mattel/Katya Zamolodchikova
Kudos: 1





	RuPaul's Rapping and Boxing Race

**Author's Note:**

> i deleted all the pics and videos of Jose in my phone and computer last night during a crisis skkk OOP i'm gonna regret that in a few days ALSO the ball on my septum ring fell off and rolled down the drain and i'm too broke to buy another one 🙃

Brooke, Vanjie, Kylie, Travis, Trixie, Katya, Gigi, and Crystal were all gathered round Brooke's phone, waiting for her to open an email form the Drag Race team.

"Well open it already you dumb bitch." Vanjie said and Brooke opened it and read it aloud before clearing her throat.

"Dear Brooke Lynn Hytes,

Congratulations! You and your gang have been selected to compete on RuPaul's Drag Race season 14!" Everyone said - 

"YAAASSSS KWEEN WERK HUNTY CHILE BOOTS THE HAUS DOWN MAWMA TONGUE POP SLAYYYYYY" And they all clapped and cheered.

-

Once everyone was all packed, they head down to the studio and waited for the call to go into the Werk Room.

"Alright Brooke, you're up!" Brooke took a deep breath and nodded. She walked into the Werk Room like a dork and tripped and fell.

"Q-Queen of the North up in this bitchhhh!" She said, on the verge of tears and quickly got up. Then it went to the confessional.

"Hiiiii I'm Brooke Lynn Hytes, I'm 34 (? or 35 idk she old) years old and I'm from the great Canada!" Brooke did a pose and walked over to the table.

"This is so exciting!" She said and waited for her friends. Travis walked in and threw up a peace sign.

"Hey."

"You already know who I am." He said in his confessional and walked over to Brooke.

"Hey girl, you ready for this?" Brooke nodded.

"I think so!" Just then, Kylie walked in!

"Get ready for the ride of your life!" She said and winked.

"Hi I'm Kylie Jenner and I'm here to snatch the crown!" Kylie walked over to Travis and kissed him. Then, Vanjie walked in. She strutted in and threw up a Blood sign.

"What up hoes."

"Aye y'all know who the fuck I am, don't lie bish. I'm here to beat all these hoes, figuratively and literally." Vanjie walked over to her girlfriend and friends and the other girls walked in. Soon after, the screen turned on!

"OOOOO GURL! SHE DONE ALREADY DONE HAD HERSES!" Then, RuPaul popped up!

"Welcome racers! Today, you will rap and then be in a boxing match. Whoever wins, wins the title! Good luck!" The screen turned off and everyone but Vanjie and Travis were shaking with fear. The door opened and RuPaul walked in.

"Hello, hello, hello!" Everyone clapped and RuPaul walked down the stairs.

"Hello you beautiful people! Right now, we're going to the studio to record your raps, then you'll box. Racers, start your engines, and may the best rap boxer queen win!"

"Pffft I got this in the bag," Vanjie said.

"Oh really? Who's the millionaire rapper here?" Travis said and Vanjie rolled her eyes. All... 8 of them went to the studio.

"Vanjie, you're up first." RuPaul said and she nodded. A lil sorry ass beat played but she would make it work.

"Yuhh, yuhh, Vanjie on dis muhfuckin beat  
Aye, party in PV, got yo bitch wetter than the sea  
Ice on my wrist, that thot suckin on my dick  
Got a hunnid bands in my Gucci bag, yuh that hoe call me her dad  
Ridin wit a TEC, ran up a check  
Aye, aye, yuhh Vanjie the realest in the game" Everyone's jaw dropped but Brooke's; she was a better rapper than her. She stepped up and put on the headphones and cleared her throat.

"Yo, yo, yo, Hytes on the track, finna break yo hoe's back  
I caught ya lackin you ain't gon catch me slackin  
Throw a stack on the table, my syrup be maple  
Canadian bitch yeah she so rich  
Money fat just like my slatt  
Y'all ain't got nothin me, gettin that cheese like brie  
Vanjie sucked my dick now she got brick  
Yo pockets in a drought, queen of the north out" Everyone's jaw dropped AGAIN! Everyone else rapped and they were okayyyy but nowhere NEAR as good as Vanjie and Brooke!

"Alright racers, time for the boxing tournament! Get changed then we'll be ready to go!" Everyone changed into their boxing attire and Vanjie and Trixie were up first. Vanjie took her out immediately! Now it was time for Katya and Crystal. Katya used her Russian powers and nearly killed Crystal, so she was the clear winner. Then, Brooke and Gigi were up. Brooke took out twig Gigi in literally one second by punching her right in the nose! Then Kylie beat Travis because he let her win.

"Alright, Vanjie versus Katya, then Brooke versus Kylie!" Vanjie and Katya were up first. Katya tried her ninja skill but Vanjie bitch slapped her and knocked her out. Brooke hit Kylie over the head and gave her a concussion so she was out.

"And finally, Vanjie against Brooke! Who will come out ever victorious?!" RuPaul said and Vanjie let out a deep breath. She didn't wanna whoop her girlfriend's ass, but she had to.

"Fight!" Vanjie put her hands up and jumped around and dodged Brooke's first punch. Vanjie jabbed her in the face but it didn't even phase Brooke. Broke uppercutted Vanjie's sharp jawline and knocked her down, but she got up in a flash.

"You really think you can beat me, bitch?" Vanjie asked.

"Um, yeh, I do you shrimpy shortie." That set Vanjie off! She went wild on Brooke, punching and kicking her like no other. Brooke's nose started bleeding, her eye swelled shut, and her lip was busted open but she didn't care!

"How the fuck you not dead yet?!" Vanjie asked and Brooke chuckled.

"I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill mehhhh!" Brooke got up on the ropes and flew down, doing an ultra mega vagina buster 3000 supreme! That knocked Vanjie out and damaged her coochie beyond repair.

"1, 2, 3!" The bell rang and Brooke was the winner!

"Conrapoxulations Brooke! You've won $100-" WHAM!! Vanjie got up and drop kicked Brooke across the room!

"NOT ON MY ROLEX!!!" Vanjie stole the cash and hopped in the car with Kylie and Travis and skrrted off! 

-

Brooke hadn't heard from Vanjie until a week later.

'aye' Vanjie texted.

'Heh?? Where you at, eh??'

'i'm outside of travis n kylie's house they kicked me out'

'Oh :/'

'can i move back in wit u'

'Uhh'

'plssss' Brooke shrugged.

'Sure'

'pick me up'

'Okay'

And just like that, things were back to normal! But Travis and Kylie weren't talking to Vanjie anymore bc she tried to fuck Travis.


End file.
